The Courage to Be Disliked: Embracing Authenticity After 60
As we age, we begin to reflect more deeply on what truly matters in life. Gone are the days of trying to fit into every mold, please everyone, or chase after validation. In this golden phase, there’s a unique opportunity to embrace something powerful and liberating: the Courage to Be Disliked. It may sound harsh at first, but it’s really about authenticity, inner peace, and self-respect—especially important after 60, when time feels more precious, and the need for genuine connection and self-acceptance becomes clearer than ever.
In this article, we’ll explore what it means to have the Courage to Be Disliked, why it becomes especially relevant later in life, and how you can gently but confidently live more authentically, unapologetically, and joyfully in your senior years.
What Does “The Courage to Be Disliked” Really Mean?
At its core, the Courage to Be Disliked is about freeing yourself from the fear of judgment. It’s the idea that your worth isn’t determined by how others see you but by how you view yourself. Rooted in Adlerian psychology (made more popular by the book of the same name), this concept encourages us to let go of people-pleasing tendencies and social masks to embrace who we are at our core.
This is not about becoming rude or inconsiderate. It’s about having the bravery to live in alignment with your values—even if that means not everyone agrees with you.
Why This Concept Matters More After 60
As we grow older, we often experience a shift in priorities. Career ambition, social status, and accumulating material things may lose their luster, making room for deeper desires—like connection, peace of mind, and purposeful living.
Here’s why embracing the Courage to Be Disliked after 60 can be especially powerful:
1. Time Becomes More Valuable
You’re likely more selective about how and with whom you spend your time. Why waste precious energy maintaining inauthentic relationships or meeting expectations that don’t resonate with you?
2. You Know Yourself Better
Years of life experience offer a clearer picture of your beliefs, needs, and boundaries. With age comes wisdom, and with wisdom comes the clarity to see what truly aligns with your soul.
3. You’ve Probably Already Been Misunderstood—and Survived
By 60, chances are you’ve dealt with criticism, judgment, and maybe even rejection. And yet, here you are. You’ve survived it all. That in itself is a sign that you have the strength to stand tall in your truth.
4. It’s a Chance to Model Bravery for Others
Whether you’re a grandparent, a mentor, or a cherished friend, choosing to live authentically sets an example for the younger people in your life. Your courage might just inspire someone else to speak up, set boundaries, or pursue a long-forgotten dream.
Signs You Might Be Ready to Embrace This Kind of Courage
- You feel tired of always saying “yes” when you mean “no.”
- You want to dress, speak, or live differently but fear being judged.
- You find yourself pretending to agree with others to avoid conflict.
- You’ve started questioning long-held roles or beliefs that no longer serve you.
If any of these resonate, it might be time to start leaning into the Courage to Be Disliked.
How to Begin Embracing Authenticity After 60
1. Re-evaluate Your Core Values
Ask yourself:
- What do I truly believe in?
- What kind of person do I want to be now?
- What do I want to leave behind?
This can be a liberating exercise. Your values may have changed since your 30s or 40s, and that’s okay.
2. Practice Saying No Gently but Firmly
You don’t need to justify your boundaries to everyone. A simple, “That doesn’t work for me right now,” is enough. At first, this may feel uncomfortable, especially if you’ve spent decades being the “yes” person. But over time, it becomes second nature.
3. Accept That Not Everyone Will Understand
And that’s perfectly fine. The Courage to Be Disliked means understanding that disagreement, even disapproval, isn’t a personal failure. Often, people’s reactions say more about their expectations than your actions.
4. Surround Yourself with Supportive People
Find your tribe—those who love you for who you are, not who you pretend to be. This could be friends, family, a support group, or even an online community of like-minded seniors.
5. Start Small
You don’t have to make sweeping changes all at once. Start by expressing your opinion in conversations, changing a small routine to better suit you, or finally taking up a hobby you put off because it “wasn’t practical.”
Real-Life Examples of Courageous Living After 60
– Nancy, 67: Letting Go of Appearances
Nancy used to spend hours perfecting her appearance before any social gathering. After turning 65, she realized she was doing it more out of fear than enjoyment. Now, she dresses for comfort and confidence. Her smile is brighter, and her time is better spent doing what she loves—gardening and painting.
– Ray, 72: Finding His Voice
Ray spent decades avoiding conflict, often agreeing with others just to keep the peace. After retiring, he joined a local seniors’ discussion group where he slowly began to speak up about topics he felt strongly about. “It feels good to have a voice again,” he says.
– Linda, 64: Leaving the ‘Nice Girl’ Act Behind
Linda used to accept every invitation, volunteer request, and favor—until burnout hit. She now has a “calendar boundary” rule: if she doesn’t feel excitement about it, she declines. The result? More energy, better friendships, and a rekindled love for writing.
The Joy of Living Authentically
When you embrace the Courage to Be Disliked, a quiet joy begins to take root. You feel lighter, freer, more yourself. Relationships that thrive are the ones rooted in truth. You begin to attract people who appreciate you for you.
Authenticity opens the door to genuine laughter, deeper conversations, and a more meaningful life. It’s not about perfection—it’s about showing up as you are and allowing that to be enough.
Letting Go of the Need to Be Liked
Wanting to be liked is human. But needing it to validate your worth? That can become a prison. One of the most liberating acts after 60 is realizing that not everyone needs to approve of your choices. You can still be kind, loving, and community-minded while choosing to protect your own energy and time.
The Courage to Be Disliked allows you to live for yourself, not for the imagined expectations of others. That kind of freedom is priceless.
Common Myths About Living Authentically Later in Life
Myth 1: It’s Too Late to Change
Truth: Every day offers a new chance to begin. Age brings wisdom, and wisdom makes change more intentional.
Myth 2: People Won’t Accept the “New You”
Truth: Those who truly love you will grow with you. Others? Their discomfort is not your responsibility.
Myth 3: Authenticity Means Being Selfish
Truth: Setting boundaries and living truthfully helps you become more present and loving, not less.
FAQs
Q: What if I lose friends when I start being more authentic?
A: While this is possible, it often leads to stronger, more honest relationships. Some friends may drift away, but the ones who stay will accept and celebrate the real you.
Q: How do I build the courage to be disliked?
A: Start small—speak your truth in low-risk settings. Journal your thoughts. Reflect on your values. Over time, confidence builds with practice and self-acceptance.
Q: Is it too late to reinvent myself at 60+?
A: Absolutely not. Many people start new careers, relationships, hobbies, or passions after 60. Reinvention is not only possible—it can be deeply rewarding.
Q: How do I handle disapproval from family or children?
A: Acknowledge their feelings without giving up your values. Use open, respectful communication. Often, with time and consistency, family members grow to respect your decisions.
Image Source: Canva
